Opinionated motherhood.

Let’s not beat around the bush here, the world is full of judgement, but the world of motherhood is completely over run with judgment. Don’t feed your child that because it’s not organic fair trade 100% sustainable, don’t use those nappies they aren’t compostable and god forbid you use polyester blankets your child will definitely overheat and die.

I’m seriously trying to simple be a good person, an uplifting mother. I want to support mothers, build them back up and show them they are totally aloud to mother in their way. We as mothers shouldn’t be made to feel like we aren’t doing enough because we don’t have as much in the bank as others, or because we may not have as much experience a another mothers. Advice is one thing, but when it’s not really needed or wanted then that’s almost as annoying as being told how to mother your child.

It seriously makes me go to 100 instantly when someone hovers over me watching me, judging my motherhood. “Have you changed his nappy? He probably has a poop. Is he fed? Give him a bottle. He is too hot, he is too cold. Give him tummy time he’s not having enough.” SHUT THE EFF UP before my tired brain vomits SHUT up juice all over your judgmental face hole Sharon! 

I’m fairly confident I know what my son needs. If I don’t, guess what? I’ll ask! Just remember your the mother, you got this.

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Our three days off.

We are just at the very end of 3 whole nights without our wee cub, and, we don’t have a whole lot to show for it, other than feeling a whole lot more human!

All that study I said I would do? Ended up being swapped for playing Xbox games with my partner. Catching up on the house work turned into making more of a mess haha, and going out for multiple walks turned into “babe, can you make more popcorn?”

We are currently on the way to getting our wee cub and I can’t wait to see his beautiful smiley face ❤ even if my health has ever so slightly diminished…ha.

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Our own person.

Its so easy to get caught up in our current lives, to forget who we are outside of the realms of motherhood and parenthood. Those few nights spent separated from our wee ones helps define who we are away from it all. But lets be honest, its not likely that, the one night we do get once in a blue moon will be spent meditaing or bettering ourselves per say.. But what about a quiet night alone?

I find myself alone quite often, and as introverted as I am right now, the thought of spending just an entire day ON MY OWN without my child scares the shit out of me. I’m not exactly sure why I’m like this now, but the thought of well, being left to my own thoughts scares me. Not in a self-deprecating kind of way, but in the way that, as mothers we don’t get a moment alone, or so it feels, so when it does happen, i feel like I wouldn’t actually know what to do with myself. Whether you work or you don’t, I imagine we all feel this way to a degree. Point being, it’s scary, because like you, I can’t really remember life prior to this beautiful boy of ours.

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I feel like those moments between naps are enough most days, but some, I wish I could run away from it all, then I remember that I’m a mother now and I beat myself up internally a bit. But lets not bull shit here, it is hard, we lose the essence of us a little bit some days, we get angry at ourselves for having ‘bad’ thoughts about motherhood, parenting and we beat ourselves up for needing, craving space. I don’t believe there is any shame in needing that space. Its healthy, not only for us but for our children. I’m not one of those parents who want to constantly pawn my child off to grandparents or friends, but, I am learning to allow myself and my partner time to cool off, or ‘reset’.

I was a super weird kid, i hated being away from home. On occasion I would have panic attacks when staying at a friends house thinking aliens would kidnap me and I would get my mum to come and get me (don’t ask XD). I can tell you now, I really, REALLY, don’t want my son to be afraid like i was. I want to teach him to be self-assured and confident. Not afraid to be out of his comfort zone, be allowing him to be away from us instills that he is his own safety. At 5 months old he’ll sleep pretty much anywhere, he’s pretty down to earth and I’m confident that my partner and I are doing a good job.

Remind yourself that you need space, your child needs space and you deserve time to ‘reset’. Keep up the incredible work Mama’s and Papas ❤

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

The day’s of ‘hard’.

Teething bubba’s, working, studying and just general adulting can be really hard when you’re a parent.

My need for social encounters has more than halved, now that an outting now requires me to take pretty much half the house I catch myself finding quite a few excuses to stay home as often as I can.

Sometimes I can’t be bothered having a shower or changing our boys clothes at night before bed, sometimes, even though I’m trying to change my lifestyle for the better, body mind and soul, I catch myself with barely enough energy to get me through the day.

Sometimes I find myself thinking “who the F#+@ is meant to look after me?” Who’s going to do my washing, my dishes, let me sleep in, cook my dinner, fold my washing,  put my washing away and the list goes on. But I know I sound so ungrateful, I’m not I assure you. Mostly I count my fortunes, after all, I’m a stay at home mum who has an incredible partner who works for his son and I so I can stay at home and raise our boy and follow my dreams of studying and starting a small business.

But holy moly, mama, your amazing. And it’s okay to let it overwhelm you, just for a short while.

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Have you ever? (Poem)

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Blinded charade, lost in translation, seeping through the depths like a transmuted guide.

Goodness, radiating through the caverns of my mind.

Step back, realize, unity.

This journey, powered by the human mind, so fickle. Lest we forget, nature: mother gaia.

Travel through the gaps in our society; individuality.

We will not be controlled.

Fueling the fire.

If there is something we all learn eventually, its that we need to keep our own fires burning. I dont mean that in a negative connotation, but something positive. Even though it takes years of practise to realize, we are infact capable of keeping them raging. 

Whats the fire actually stand for you ask? Your happiness, your passion, your determination. You see, we dont need someone to tell us how wonderful we are, we should just know, but society has and continues to strip us of that power. The point im making from a mothers perspective is, i want my kids to have self-love, self-respect and be highly resilient, but also gentle, be kind and compassionate. Its up to us to ignite their flame and give them the tools to make there own fuel to keep their own fire burning. Teach them that although the world is full of blithering  wankers, that they can still make the world a better place.

We are teaching the next generation,  the generation thats going to have to reverse all the damage done thanks to us, our parents, grandparents and so on. We ignite the flame, and we keep ours burning.

The Three Bears NZ

We plant the seed.

It’s a massive responsibility, realizing just how much influence you have over this little human you created. Constantly watching yourself and trying to enforce positive routines, positive environments and habits. To be honest, I’ve started implementing these routines almost more so for myself.

Nathan and I have never been good at routine, that’s why we never really set one for Torben prior to now. I mean, as mothers we really do want to have family breakfast and dinner sitting at the table, we want to bath our children every single night just before bed, and we want to get these little humans of ours sleeping through, but! It’s easier said than done. Because who has to actually enforce these routines? That’s right, us.

We are only human, sometimes we let that family dinner slide because your little one is out of whack, or your simply too tired to give them a proper bath so the shower it is and if you have had a very long stressful day a wet cloth will do.

We love our children, but we need to learn to love ourselves enough to know and be okay with imperfections. We are raising our children with all the love and positivity we can muster after all!

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.