This is motherhood.

As I lay down in bed, exhausted, entering this faze of the day completely ready to embrace slumber, my brain decides to waken.

I start thinking about life changing decisions that I can’t do anything about at this current moment, the dishes that I should of done before bed, that snarkey comment I said to my partner 16 hours ago in the early hours of the morning and just like that, slumber is a distant memory.

The short hours my child does sleep at night are a crucial time for me to feel human via sleep. Yet, insomnia takes hold. I think of how this world will be in 10 years, about how stressful it is finding a new home, the thought of packing sends me into a minute anxiety attack. 

I try meditation, I try counting sheep, I try breathing techniques, I try ASMR and finally, I come to the bitter conclusion I’ll just have to close my eyes and stop looking at the time. Sleep will come, eventually.

The Three Bears NZ

3 thoughts on “This is motherhood.

  1. Unfortunately it’s the lack of sleep that sends you into anxiety mode and you just start worrying about everything. I am awake as I write and it’s 2 in the morning here but I just can’t sleep and my son keeps waking up 😦 the best thing you can do is trying and have a nap during the day. I always find I wake up with a lot less worries after a good nap. Sending big hugs! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG yes! I can’t wait till my son sleeps through the night! Or only wakes once! My partner and I are currently having to take turns getting up… poor man! Yeah a nap can do wonders! It’s 3pm here! Hope you find sleep soon! Xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My son unfortunately still doesn’t sleep through and I cosleep, so I never sleep properly really. And he is 11 months old! 😭 I have been with him 24/7 for the past year and God, I can’t wait for a holiday, a break, a day at a spa… anything! Haha 😃 well it looks like it’s afternoon nap time there then 😉 x x x

        Like

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