Picking up where I left off yesterday, I thought it made a lot of sense to resume the Gratitude Challenge that I had commit myself to. I wanted to do this so I would reflect over the beautiful people, things and experiences in my life, thus raising my vibration and enable myself to be more open and receptive to the love this incredible universe of ours has to offer.
My Pikorua, gifted to me by Nathan on our first year anniversary is my most loved possession. Pounamu, New Zealand nephrite or more commonly known as jade is known as ‘The God Stone’ by Maori. Pounamu is is believed to protect, show kinship, love, offer good faith and evoke strength coming in the forms of different carvings.
The Pounamu Nathan gifted me is called Pikorua. It represents the spirits of two people intertwined, destined to always find one other no matter where life takes them. It is a cycle, constant, portraying the relationship between life and the eternal.
In Maori tradition, the stone must be blessed before it is to be worn, commonly blessed because Pounamu is known as tapu (sacred). I chose to bless mine in the moana (ocean) in front of the house where I spent the first seventeen years of my life, which will always hold a special place in my manawa (heart).
It is the most thoughtful gift anyone has thought to give me, it encompasses me. It brings me comfort when I am alone, it brings me strength when I feel like I can’t get up in the morning and it fills me with love with i think of who and where my Pounamu came from. I am blessed to have such an incredible companion who constantly supports me, who I can trust 120%, who’s always there and works so hard for our little whanau.
I had an extensive look through my blog posts over the last couple of months and, i realized that a lot of the things I had posted just weren’t me. I wanted a heartfelt blog, honest and true, my version of motherhood, not a constant stream of minor updates but a genuine take on my journey through motherhood.
I’ll rewind a little bit; This year has been absolutely, mind meltingly life altering, I know I became a mother this year and that itself is altering enough, but after meeting our beautiful cub I felt inspired. Inspired like I never had been before. I wanted (and still want) to be the best version of myself I could ever be. All it took was once look at our son for me to change. I want to be the best version of me for our son, my partner, family and myself.
So, thanks to an old friend, the amazing world of essential oils and aromatherapy was opened up to me. After a lifetime of struggling to find that ‘thing’ I wanted to do, it found me, at a vital point of my life, at a point of most vulnerability and whilst I was wide open to the universe. I fell in love quickly, and thus Aromama was born. Since that point I have made the choice to study and pursue my newly found, but deep passion of becoming an Aromatherapist and genuinely helping people.
One of the setbacks of being a first time mother is, not realizing that everything takes just a little bit longer to attain, from the simplest of tasks like folding the washing to attempting grocery shopping. Point being is, I naively believed I could cope with starting a new business venture and efficiently study at the same time. Unfortunately, in my usual style I over committed myself, and the first thing that I sacrificed was spending time on this blog, something that was and is a vital part of me coping with my mental health, sharing with other amazing humans what motherhood is whilst being creative and most importantly healing.
I have ‘wakeful’ periods during my days where I can function like a normal human, and it’s during those periods of my day where I’m useful and I usually try to get anything that requires brain power completed in this short window. Usually its spent trying to become market ready for Aromama, or I try to complete some of my assignments, but today I felt compelled to look over my blog, and I spent some time just speed reading through some recent posts to come to the conclusion I didn’t like the content, at all.
Contrary to what I led myself to believe, I haven’t been myself for a good couple of months now. I get it, motherhood changes you, it’s changed me so vastly that I think I’m still trying to figure out who I am in this new role as mother. I’m trying to not feel disappointed in myself for not being farther along in my development. Long story short, I’ve allowed my vibration, frequency and positivity to drop, and a lot of my content lately has depicted that.
From now on, I will take a much more self reflective and positive stance in this journey. I will post content that not only makes me feel good, but content that has the ability to make you, the beautiful reader to feel happier as well. I want you to leave my blog and go away having a better outlook on your situation, because your all incredible. The mothers I have met and become closer with since becoming a mother – you are all incredible and I really don’t know where I would be without you, online and offline.
Thank you for continuing to support me throughout this wonderful new journey,
It’s a massive responsibility, realizing just how much influence you have over this little human you created. Constantly watching yourself and trying to enforce positive routines, positive environments and habits. To be honest, I’ve started implementing these routines almost more so for myself.
Nathan and I have never been good at routine, that’s why we never really set one for Torben prior to now. I mean, as mothers we really do want to have family breakfast and dinner sitting at the table, we want to bath our children every single night just before bed, and we want to get these little humans of ours sleeping through, but! It’s easier said than done. Because who has to actually enforce these routines? That’s right, us.
We are only human, sometimes we let that family dinner slide because your little one is out of whack, or your simply too tired to give them a proper bath so the shower it is and if you have had a very long stressful day a wet cloth will do.
We love our children, but we need to learn to love ourselves enough to know and be okay with imperfections. We are raising our children with all the love and positivity we can muster after all!
It is no easy task to pinpoint a particular member of my family of whom I am particularly grateful for. Each and everyone has shaped me into this being that I am today, this mother I am today.
I am thankful for my mother, she gave me my loving heart and my fiery passion. My spontaneity, to be kind but to assert myself when appropriate and how to love to the moon and then back again.
I am thankful for my father, he gave me my logic, taught me to be kind to all living things, to take photo’s and leave only footprints and that sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.
I am thankful for my sister, she taught me to be thankful, grateful and realize how fortunate I truly am. To love life, even when things may not appear so good, that life is what you make of it and find light in the darkest of times.
I am thankful for my birth father, he has shown me to dismiss people’s judgments, to always give my opinion and that simply being me is enough.
I am thankful for my closest friends, who have stood the test of time, who stick by my side and offer me support no matter the time of day.
I am thankful for the single most incredible man I could ever ask to have by my side, we grow each day, together, who is there as a constant stream of loving support.
My beautiful son, who would I be without you? You are a beautiful old soul my boy. I am full of gratitude, warmth and joy when I look at you.
My circumstance is a little different to most when it comes to family, but I am all the more blessed for how things have turned out.
It’s as if there was divine intervention when I was brought into this world. Adopted from birth, and raised by the two most loving parents, gifted from a selfless mother who wanted a better life to give. I’m fortunate to have a solid relationship with my biological older sister and father as well.
Since having our little cub and being with an incredible partner I am also so lucky to be part of a whole new family experience. I consider myself highly grateful to be included with my partners amazing and
highly loving family.
When I sit here and think of my family now, I feel like I might burst at the seams with all of the love and kindness. I am full of gratitude, I am full of love, I am open to a new and deeper experience of family.
Our little fam is on the move and it’s very difficult to juggle writing decent posts between, well, trying to adult right now! My attention for the next week and a bit is going to be on moving and getting us all settled and into some sort of a routine. Not that I can control our wee cubs rourine but, hey.
On a quick side note, I have made the choice to transition to a vegetarian lifestyle. Basically, I’m constantly finding myself wanting to try to become way more conscious of the state of our planet and how unsustainable our current way of living is and how wasteful we can all be, and I’ve never practised what I preach. Now having a child and really having to care about the state our world is in and it’s future I can’t sit by and just carry on living how I have been. More on that later!
I would like to thank my followers: your likes and comments make this experience so much more enjoyable! I love writing this blog, reading your amazing blogs and meeting new awesome people!