My moon and my stars.

My own version of golden warmth, times such as this stands still. I realize not that it’s a moment fleeting.

4.

It is no easy task to pinpoint a particular member of my family of whom I am particularly grateful for. Each and everyone has shaped me into this being that I am today, this friend I am today, this mother I am today.

I am thankful for my mother, she gave me my loving heart and my fiery passion. My spontaneity, to be kind but to assert myself when appropriate and how to love to the moon and then back again.

I am thankful for my father, he gave me my logic, taught me to be kind to all living things, to take photo’s and leave only footprints and that sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.

I am thankful for my sister, she taught me to be thankful, grateful and realize how fortunate I truly am. To love life, even when things may not appear so good, that life is what you make of it and find light in the darkest of times.

I am thankful for my birth father, he has shown me to dismiss people’s judgments, to always give my opinion and that simply being me is enough.

I am thankful for my closest friends, who have stood the test of time, who stick by my side and offer me support no matter the time of day.

I am thankful for the single most incredible man I could ever ask to have by my side, we grow each day, together, who is there as a constant stream of loving support.

My beautiful son, who would I be without you? You are a beautiful old soul my boy. I am full of gratitude, warmth and joy when I look at you.

The Three Bears NZ.

I’m back!

I’ve been so caught up in my own little bubble that I haven’t allowed myself, or given myself the respect to just sit down, take a deep breath and release all of my negative thoughts and stresses. The truth is, as I stated in my last post: I haven’t felt myself. I’m working on getting on top of it, but as you all know, it’s easier said than done!

So much of my time and energy has/is going into the business and being a mother, to a now 3 month old boy (holy crap, where did the time go?!) that I haven’t had a chance to really think straight!

Now, I know it’s not just me, but I have found since becoming a mother and a parent that my grip on time has totally loosened and I have no idea if I am up or down sometimes! Days disappear as if I haven’t lived them at all, (sometimes I wonder if I have!) and other times days pop out of nowhere. It’s so hard to juggle everything and unfortunately writing this blog has been lost within the myriad of obstacles in my way and for a time, simply became a chore, which is not at all what the point in this blog is for me.

Well here I am, i’m going to ensure for my mental health, yet again, that I am regularly updating the blog!

Torben and Lex.jpg

The light of my life.

Where am I at now? Well, being a mother of a beautiful growing little boy cub is absolutely incredible! I consider myself so fortunate every day to have this little cub in my life and an incredible man by my side. Life is testing me right now but I am rising above, and currently feeling like a phoenix rising from the ashes. I feel like I can breathe again, and in turn I feel a light inside of me burning again that I haven’t felt for a long time.

I am trying to get back on the rails and look after myself in mind, body and spirit. My partner and I will be detoxing after my birthday and honestly, I am genuinely excited to get that part of our lives started so we can both be the best for ourselves and our cub. As much as I am trying to be happy within myself, standing on the scales for the first time in a year to find I am 100.9kg was a sad shock to me, and although I hate weight and would rather avoid owning scales, it still hit home and I keep telling myself to stop being so upset. Apart from, what feels like a huge setback,  I am counting my blessings each day and allowing myself to remember that I am important and when one loves themself, they can learn to love more. I am giving in ways I know how and this brings me higher again.

I hope you are all doing well, I look forward to writing on a regular basis again! Thank you for your patience, you are all incredible!

The Three Bears NZ.

 

 

Mother mother.

Such an indescribable experience, watching, listening, learning and growing along side this little human that multiplied inside of us. How does one find the words to describe such a thing? Love, such a fickle thing in the eyes of motherhood. Unconditional, striving to learn to love more than love itself. There are no words, only actions, only proof. 

The lights of my life that shine brighter than any Sun.

Happiness comes in all forms.

I couldn’t help but share these beautiful flowers. Isn’t it amazing what our incredible mother earth provides? 

Happiness is being able to pick fresh flowers from the garden.

Home sweetest home

Well, we made it. Somehow! We managed to cart our insane amount of unnecessary belongings from a to b thanks to a lot of coffee, fart arsing around and incredible friends. And boy am I so glad to be away from the hubbub! I still have a lot of organizing to do but there’s not a whole lot left now which makes me feel very relieved.

What a stark contrast it is though! There’s room to swing many cats around! It just feels incredible to have access to a huge array of home grown fruit, vegetables and beautiful fauna. This is heavenly, how I thought I could stick to only city life is far beyond me now. That said, the day your child enters this world they are the center of everything therefore your priorities just have to change entirely. Family comes first.

We are still currently waiting for our internet to be connected so this is just a brief update to let you know that more for filling content will be uploaded soon once I am able to use the computer.

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Gratitude #3

My circumstance is a little different to most when it comes to family, but I am all the more fortunate for how things have ended up!

It’s as if there was divine intervention when I was bought into this world. Adopted from birth, and raised by the two most loving parents, gifted from a selfless mother who wanted a better life to give. I’m also lucky enough to have a solid relationship with my biological older sister and father.

Since having our little cub and being with an incredible partner I am also so lucky to be part of a whole new family experience. I consider myself highly grateful to be included with my partners amazing and highly loving family.

When I sit here and think of my family now, I feel like I might burst at the seams with all of the love and kindness.

I am full of gratitude, I am full of love, I am open to a new and deeper experience of family.

All of the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.