The big and the small.

Firstly, I apologize for not posting as much as I usually do. Our little family is currently on the move for the next couple of weeks and when I do have the chance to sit down and update the blog I find myself slowly nodding off and waking to find an entire sentence that makes zero sense.

This is the first year in many where I have made an effort to jot down some short term and long term goals. When I sat down to write this list I didn’t really realize just how many things I would be willing to try to attain. 

Unlike other lists I’ve attempted, this list ranges from: clean the oven, become fit and healthy to find a tangible home income. I have the big, the small, the short and long-term. It brings me great satisfaction between a sleeping child to conquer the small things and slowly chip away at the larger goals.

This year is the single most hectic year thus far of my life and I honestly couldn’t be more fulfilled at this present time. But having a goal list helps me stay grounded. In this early blur of motherhood, which 99 percent of us ensure, I find myself being very flighty; I’m in a constant state of forgetting the current task I was working on. I’ll start the dishes and halfway through start hanging the washing out then have the need to relieve myself and start cleaning the bathroom. 

The list is an invaluable part of my life now. And how satisfying it is to cross those goals off!

All of the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Deflated but elated.

If you follow my blog and read my posts you know that I stopped breast feeding about 3 weeks ago. Unfortunately, as much as it was out of my control, I still find myself feeling guilty about it. I have to constantly remind myself that I did what I could, I did well and I chose to do what was best for the both of us.

Apart from that and the lack in sleep things have been really good. Our boy is blossoming each and every day and our love is ever growing. I am so proud to be a Mother and I’m finding my role more natural as the days melt into weeks and the weeks into months. 

But it has come to my attention that my breasts are almost completely empty and I can’t help but notice these two plastic bags on my chest. My two only bras no longer fit, and as much as I am a positive force, I’m still human and I can’t help but feel a little, well, deflated occasionally.

It’s incredible the amount of changes a woman’s body is constantly going through. In my initial naivety I assumed that once my child was no longer inside of me that my body would soon return to it’s normal state..NOPE. Can you believe my surprise when I found my body still changing?


It’s going to take a long time to get used to this new body of mine. But I am teaching myself to love this body everyday! Now that I’ve started yoga it’s already helping me become open and receptive to all the positive vibrations this beautiful earth has to offer. I choose to love myself and take actions toward engraving that into my heart.

Love yourself ladies, you are all beautiful and incredible!

The Three Bears NZ.

 

How bittersweet this contrast.

The day my son was placed upon my chest and into my arms, I felt LIFE. The newest and most pure essence of our life force. So young, so quintessentially innocent, yet resonating with radiant energy.

We all, as parents go through this in our own way. We see this from different points, at different times, depending on how receptive we are.

I’m twenty four years old. The energy of youth still abundant in my being and renewed by my gratification of bringing a life into this world. I feel such revelry to walk our mother earth each day and with each breath I am open to more.

When Torben met his great grandparents on my mother’s side, we entered the energy of a thousand life forces slowly being reverted to their place of origin, but oh! What a life lived. The presence of such a burgeoning energy was enough to change the entire atmosphere, even for a fleeting second.

We come forth into this world, overflowing with such beautiful naivety on a planet that has so much information to offer. How lucky to be offered self awareness we are!

Once our lessons have been learned, our wisdom has been passed and we have drawn all of our being from melioration, we return, one way or another; our essence released to whence it came.    

Undoubtedly circling, constant yet certain is the human race as we initiate into this world, only to biologically decay even when our minds stay behind.

How bittersweet this contrast.

Stigmas of a Mother

As we grow our children and into our role as mothers, both physically and spiritually, we are constantly bombarded with advice and judgements.

If a mother chooses to breastfeed her child in public she’s bombarded with criticism, when a mother chooses to formula feed her child she’s also bombarded with criticism. The single most unfortunate thing about these stigmas, it seems to  be other woman; Mothers, bestowing their ‘god like’ judgement upon their fellow woman.

After having problems producing enough milk for my hungry wee cub, I decided for my sanity and my poor cubs little tummy, to switch to formula. It’s only been a couple of weeks, yet people haven’t hesitated to show their distaste. No wonder when I go to the doctors, nurses or I have to feed our child in public I feel ashamed to declare this fact. How unfair it is, that I we as mothers are made to feel that way! Breast is best?! More like shut your mouth Barabara you haven’t had a child under 43 for 100 years!

I’m currently in a state of mind in which I have to constantly remind myself that the choices I make are in the best interest of my child, because they are. A mother who has looked after her needs is a good mother, no, a great mother.

If a mother chooses to do her makeup, straighten her hair, go to the hair salon, take a 10 minute time-out, breastfeed, formula feed, let her child play computer games, enforce her child to play outside, co-sleep, promote self-settling, let her child cry, hold her child close that is her choice as a mother.

It is our duty as woman, to withhold our judgement, to apply self-awareness to the judgements that do pop up in our head and alter those thoughts into empathetic, supportive and understanding wavelengths.

I’m sick of people in general constantly feeling the need to spread their ‘anticipated’ advice. Did I ask for it? NO! Some of the information is useful, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying. Just remember the next time you open your fat gob to some poor heavily pregnant woman who’s been told “Enjoy the peace and quiet whilst it last’s honey!” a dozen times in that week alone or that poor mother who hasn’t had a full night’s sleep in, well, she can’t remember.. They don’t want to hear it. Every child is completely different and we will or are learning our child. Specially if you haven’t got your own children!

My greatest piece of advice I can offer: instead of passing judgment or pointless advice, tell her how awesome she rocks that baby belly or how amazing that mother at the checkout with a child having a full blown tantrum is doing! Or, if you have friends that are pregnant or having a young child, offer your help, bring them food, coffee, compliments and support.

The Three Bears NZ.

 

I know you now

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We stared into one another, he took everything in about me, and I him. How his hair is growing millimeter but millimetre each day, how inquisitive those once blurred eyes now are seeking my familiar stare and those lips that mirror his father’s. I wonder what he see’s in me?

It’s such a precious thing, within just a moment of time to realize how beautiful a mother and child bond. The magnitude of being a parent is unfathomable most times as we all carry on with our day. If we honestly always felt the gravity of raising a child every moment of everyday we would probably shatter under the inert force that is, being a parent. But we don’t, we grow, we blossom and we only falter on occasion only to rise more experienced than we were prior. Each day I become more confident as a mother and a parent. Each day I know my child a little more  and that brings me immeasurable amounts of joy.

I let the light of love into my heart and into my soul so that I can love deeper to those around me.

Blessings, Alexa.

 

Motherhood = unpredictability

Today my wee baby bear had his first immunizations!

This isn’t going to be an argument about immunizations, if you choose to or not to, it’s your choice and I’m never going to tell you your wrong, because you know best for your child.

Anyway. I have been nervous for a good couple of days now, constantly thinking about how he would react. How hard it would be to watch him and how am I going to deal with a huge routine shift when it finally feels like we are slowly but surely getting more sleep and predictability. We do what we can, at the end of the day we follow him and his needs. 

Needless to say as horrible as it was to see him crying due to a needle enter his wee thighs, it really was not as bad as my mind had manifested. The mind is such a powerful thing when in the head of an overtired mother!

Once we hit the fourth hour after his immunizations BANG he cried for a good hour! He’s never done that before! He ended up crying himself to sleep, which I guess is well needed. Even if it did break my heart!

Thankfully when Papa came home Torben calmed right down, and he’s been a very sleepy wee cub since, and he’s still eating find and all is right with the world. We even managed to watch Inception and eat a whole bowl of plain popcorn! Yay! Now it’s time to fall into the comfortable bed I’ve been thinking of since I left it this morning..

From one tired and relieved Mama bear, good night! Or good day.. All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.