The big and the small.

Firstly, I apologize for not posting as much as I usually do. Our little family is currently on the move for the next couple of weeks and when I do have the chance to sit down and update the blog I find myself slowly nodding off and waking to find an entire sentence that makes zero sense.

This is the first year in many where I have made an effort to jot down some short term and long term goals. When I sat down to write this list I didn’t really realize just how many things I would be willing to try to attain. 

Unlike other lists I’ve attempted, this list ranges from: clean the oven, become fit and healthy to find a tangible home income. I have the big, the small, the short and long-term. It brings me great satisfaction between a sleeping child to conquer the small things and slowly chip away at the larger goals.

This year is the single most hectic year thus far of my life and I honestly couldn’t be more fulfilled at this present time. But having a goal list helps me stay grounded. In this early blur of motherhood, which 99 percent of us ensure, I find myself being very flighty; I’m in a constant state of forgetting the current task I was working on. I’ll start the dishes and halfway through start hanging the washing out then have the need to relieve myself and start cleaning the bathroom. 

The list is an invaluable part of my life now. And how satisfying it is to cross those goals off!

All of the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Gratitude 2 – Companion

I’ve been very fortunate in this life. Whenever  I have been through bad times it’s been a prequel to an opening of joy and positivity. But the one thing I was previously never open to was timing. Timing was always off, at least I made it seem that way within myself. But for the first time, it seemed like the timing was of divinity. The way in which I met the father to my child, my companion, was all thanks to a reunion of a friendship. Ever since that moment, my life has seemed much more rounded, like a complete cycle; i’ve felt whole.

I am constantly living in a moment of gratitude with this amazing human being who, initially proved me to be completely wrong at every turn, and lead me to quickly changing my preconceptions of what I expected from people. At every bump in the road he’s been there to, not pick me up, but to make me realize that I have the capability to pick myself up, and words simply can’t describe how grateful I am for that.

img_20170129_140205_538In living with this incredible human, I have seen on a daily basis how selflessly he gives himself, not just to me but everyone around him. He endeavours to support me, but offers honesty for all choices I make. He is my safe place, my home.  I am constantly shown how it is to just love someone, and be loved in return. I am baffled by his pure kindness, his state of serenity, intelligence, and capability to be open to all things.
Not only are these things between us now, but shared with a beautiful little human being we both helped into this world. He is a natural father, a nurturing father, an inspiring father and he physically, mentally and financially supports our son and I. There is no fear of bringing up a human in this world full of the inept when I have such a true man by my side.

Fleetwood Mac Funny Nathan And LexI am in constant wonder at how harmonious we are and the complete lack of judgement in this pure simplicity which is, us. I am thankful for all that we have in common, and all that we don’t, for all of those deep talks, and the individuality. He is my best friend.

Words just don’t cut how vivaciously my gratitude grows every day for this amazing companion of mine. How fortunate I am in this life.

Deflated but elated.

If you follow my blog and read my posts you know that I stopped breast feeding about 3 weeks ago. Unfortunately, as much as it was out of my control, I still find myself feeling guilty about it. I have to constantly remind myself that I did what I could, I did well and I chose to do what was best for the both of us.

Apart from that and the lack in sleep things have been really good. Our boy is blossoming each and every day and our love is ever growing. I am so proud to be a Mother and I’m finding my role more natural as the days melt into weeks and the weeks into months. 

But it has come to my attention that my breasts are almost completely empty and I can’t help but notice these two plastic bags on my chest. My two only bras no longer fit, and as much as I am a positive force, I’m still human and I can’t help but feel a little, well, deflated occasionally.

It’s incredible the amount of changes a woman’s body is constantly going through. In my initial naivety I assumed that once my child was no longer inside of me that my body would soon return to it’s normal state..NOPE. Can you believe my surprise when I found my body still changing?


It’s going to take a long time to get used to this new body of mine. But I am teaching myself to love this body everyday! Now that I’ve started yoga it’s already helping me become open and receptive to all the positive vibrations this beautiful earth has to offer. I choose to love myself and take actions toward engraving that into my heart.

Love yourself ladies, you are all beautiful and incredible!

The Three Bears NZ.

 

Stigmas of a Mother

As we grow our children and into our role as mothers, both physically and spiritually, we are constantly bombarded with advice and judgements.

If a mother chooses to breastfeed her child in public she’s bombarded with criticism, when a mother chooses to formula feed her child she’s also bombarded with criticism. The single most unfortunate thing about these stigmas, it seems to  be other woman; Mothers, bestowing their ‘god like’ judgement upon their fellow woman.

After having problems producing enough milk for my hungry wee cub, I decided for my sanity and my poor cubs little tummy, to switch to formula. It’s only been a couple of weeks, yet people haven’t hesitated to show their distaste. No wonder when I go to the doctors, nurses or I have to feed our child in public I feel ashamed to declare this fact. How unfair it is, that I we as mothers are made to feel that way! Breast is best?! More like shut your mouth Barabara you haven’t had a child under 43 for 100 years!

I’m currently in a state of mind in which I have to constantly remind myself that the choices I make are in the best interest of my child, because they are. A mother who has looked after her needs is a good mother, no, a great mother.

If a mother chooses to do her makeup, straighten her hair, go to the hair salon, take a 10 minute time-out, breastfeed, formula feed, let her child play computer games, enforce her child to play outside, co-sleep, promote self-settling, let her child cry, hold her child close that is her choice as a mother.

It is our duty as woman, to withhold our judgement, to apply self-awareness to the judgements that do pop up in our head and alter those thoughts into empathetic, supportive and understanding wavelengths.

I’m sick of people in general constantly feeling the need to spread their ‘anticipated’ advice. Did I ask for it? NO! Some of the information is useful, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying. Just remember the next time you open your fat gob to some poor heavily pregnant woman who’s been told “Enjoy the peace and quiet whilst it last’s honey!” a dozen times in that week alone or that poor mother who hasn’t had a full night’s sleep in, well, she can’t remember.. They don’t want to hear it. Every child is completely different and we will or are learning our child. Specially if you haven’t got your own children!

My greatest piece of advice I can offer: instead of passing judgment or pointless advice, tell her how awesome she rocks that baby belly or how amazing that mother at the checkout with a child having a full blown tantrum is doing! Or, if you have friends that are pregnant or having a young child, offer your help, bring them food, coffee, compliments and support.

The Three Bears NZ.

 

Motherhood = unpredictability

Today my wee baby bear had his first immunizations!

This isn’t going to be an argument about immunizations, if you choose to or not to, it’s your choice and I’m never going to tell you your wrong, because you know best for your child.

Anyway. I have been nervous for a good couple of days now, constantly thinking about how he would react. How hard it would be to watch him and how am I going to deal with a huge routine shift when it finally feels like we are slowly but surely getting more sleep and predictability. We do what we can, at the end of the day we follow him and his needs. 

Needless to say as horrible as it was to see him crying due to a needle enter his wee thighs, it really was not as bad as my mind had manifested. The mind is such a powerful thing when in the head of an overtired mother!

Once we hit the fourth hour after his immunizations BANG he cried for a good hour! He’s never done that before! He ended up crying himself to sleep, which I guess is well needed. Even if it did break my heart!

Thankfully when Papa came home Torben calmed right down, and he’s been a very sleepy wee cub since, and he’s still eating find and all is right with the world. We even managed to watch Inception and eat a whole bowl of plain popcorn! Yay! Now it’s time to fall into the comfortable bed I’ve been thinking of since I left it this morning..

From one tired and relieved Mama bear, good night! Or good day.. All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Precious Moments.

Being a family has bought so much warmth and love into my heart and soul; I realize just how lucky I am every single day.

I love it when I catch myself lovingly gazing at my two boys having morning cuddles, when both Nathan and I are both bent over cooing at our beautiful cubs smiling face. It feels like the earth itself stops rotating for that brief moment in time.

It’s hard to define love before having a child. We always loved our partners, but our love grows exponentially once our children enter this world. I’ve found it’s not just within my family but to all the people around me that I am now capable of loving more.

I have a greater sense of gratitude to seek out the beauty around me, and I find myself becoming a fuller, happier human being every day.

I love having the opportunity to capture these hovering moments in time; a candid photo of my child’s smile will bring so many people in his life a small gleam of his being. That brings me great joy.

These are precious moments in time, and we must try to be grateful in these moments and let them procreate into a magical montage of greatness.

The Three Bears NZ.

Love Thyself.

I’ve been struggling to look after myself ‘properly’ ever since Torben entered this world. I promised myself a walk a day, to exclude dairy from my diet and to attempt earlier nights. I know it does no one any good, specifically myself, to beat myself up over empty promises. But I can’t help but feel disappointed in myself.

A friend of mine and I have signed up for beginners yoga and I am enthralled that it’s one thing I certainly can’t or won’t make excuses to get out of. The dog ate my yoga pants just won’t cut it.

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Vegetable breakfast bowl with grilled haloumi + turmeric yogurt and homemade basil pesto.

I am a qualified chef so I absolutely love food and cooking; it’s one of my passions. Since becoming a mother I find myself having only moments of being absolutely adamant about my strict diet, the other half I resort to ‘I’m too tired to cook, let’s get pizza with all of the extra mozzarella’. If i’m going to have bad food, i might as well have all of the bad food. That’s logic, right?

When I do have the energy to make a healthy meal I love cooking and using clean, green and as much organic ingredients as I can! It brings me a lot of joy to feed myself and those that I love. So why can’t I be consistent at the moment?

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Bulgar wheat with basil + cherry tomatoes + cashews + olives + goat’s milk feta and apple cider vinegar dressing.

For me, it all boils down to how tired I am on any given day, which at the moment seems to be all of the time; it’s just one annoying cycle.

  1. I’m tired because I don’t get to bed early or take advantage of the sleep that is available to me.
  2. I don’t get to bed early enough because I’m trying to clean the house so I don’t wake up to a mess.
  3. I clean the house so I don’t wake up to a mess because I want to have time to cook a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner.
  4. But I wake up the next morning tired. 

And thus the cycle starts again!

However, I have an idea to keep myself in check and to finally break the cycle!

  1. I will post a recipe, photo or ‘food diary’ each day!
  2. I must have a class on the go at any given time that I am able to do whilst recovering from my c-section.

I don’t plan on counting calories and weighing myself, that’s not my reason for any of this. I want to be a healthier, happier me. I want to be able to chase my little bear cub around and not feel like Harry Heartattack!

Does anyone else have this problem? Leave your story in the comments!

All of the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.