Gratitude 5 – Pounamu

Picking up where I left off yesterday, I thought it made a lot of sense to resume the Gratitude Challenge that I had commit myself to. I wanted to do this so I would reflect over the beautiful people, things and experiences in my life, thus raising my vibration and enable myself to be more open and receptive to the love this incredible universe of ours has to offer.

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My Pounamu Pikorua (twist), gifted to me by Nathan.

My Pikorua, gifted to me by Nathan on our first year anniversary is my most loved  possession. Pounamu, New Zealand nephrite or more commonly known as jade is known as ‘The God Stone’ by Maori. Pounamu is is believed to protect, show kinship, love, offer good faith and evoke strength coming in the forms of different carvings.

The Pounamu Nathan gifted me is called Pikorua. It represents the spirits of two people intertwined, destined to always find one other no matter where life takes them. It is a cycle, constant, portraying the relationship between life and the eternal.

In Maori tradition, the stone must be blessed before it is to be worn, commonly blessed because Pounamu is known as tapu (sacred). I chose to bless mine in the moana (ocean) in front of the house where I spent the first seventeen years of my life, which will always hold a special place in my manawa (heart).

It is the most thoughtful gift anyone has thought to give me, it encompasses me. It brings me comfort when I am alone, it brings me strength when I feel like I can’t get up in the morning and it fills me with love with i think of who and where my Pounamu came from. I am blessed to have such an incredible companion who constantly supports me, who I can trust 120%, who’s always there and works so hard for our little whanau.

I am open to receiving the love of the universe.

Alexa.

 

 

I lost sight.

I had an extensive look through my blog posts over the last couple of months and, i realized that a lot of the things I had posted just weren’t me. I wanted a heartfelt blog, honest and true, my version of motherhood, not a constant stream of minor updates but a genuine take on my journey through motherhood.

I’ll rewind a little bit; This year has been absolutely, mind meltingly life altering, I know I became a mother this year and that itself is altering enough, but after meeting our beautiful cub I felt inspired. Inspired like I never had been before. I wanted (and still want) to be the best version of myself I could ever be. All it took was once look at our son for me to change. I want to be the best version of me for our son, my partner, family and myself.

Final Logo Aromama simple round pink
My small business venture “Aromama’s” logo.

So, thanks to an old friend, the amazing world of essential oils and aromatherapy was opened up to me. After a lifetime of struggling to find that ‘thing’ I wanted to do, it found me, at a vital point of my life, at a point of most vulnerability and whilst I was wide open to the universe. I fell in love quickly, and thus Aromama was born. Since that point I have made the choice to study and pursue my newly found, but deep passion of becoming an Aromatherapist and genuinely helping people.

One of the setbacks of being a first time mother is, not realizing that everything takes just a little bit longer to attain, from the simplest of tasks like folding the washing to attempting grocery shopping. Point being is, I naively believed I could cope with starting a new business venture and efficiently study at the same time. Unfortunately, in my usual style I over committed myself, and the first thing that I sacrificed was spending time on this blog, something that was and is a vital part of me coping with my mental health, sharing with other amazing humans what motherhood is whilst being creative and most importantly healing.

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Studying hard or hardly studying..

I have ‘wakeful’ periods during my days where I can function like a normal human, and it’s during those periods of my day where I’m useful and I usually try to get anything that requires brain power completed in this short window. Usually its spent trying to become market ready for Aromama, or I try to complete some of my assignments, but today I felt compelled to look over my blog, and I spent some time just speed reading through some recent posts to come to the conclusion I didn’t like the content, at all.

Contrary to what I led myself to believe, I haven’t been myself for a good couple of months now. I get it, motherhood changes you, it’s changed me so vastly that I think I’m still trying to figure out who I am in this new role as mother. I’m trying to not feel disappointed in myself for not being farther along in my development. Long story short, I’ve allowed my vibration, frequency and positivity to drop, and a lot of my content lately has depicted that.

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From now on, I will take a much more self reflective and positive stance in this journey. I will post content that not only makes me feel good, but content that has the ability to make you, the beautiful reader to feel happier as well. I want you to leave my blog and go away having a better outlook on your situation, because your all incredible. The mothers I have met and become closer with since becoming a mother – you are all incredible and I really don’t know where I would be without you, online and offline.

Thank you for continuing to support me throughout this wonderful new journey,

Alexa. (The Three Bears NZ)

 

We plant the seed.

It’s a massive responsibility, realizing just how much influence you have over this little human you created. Constantly watching yourself and trying to enforce positive routines, positive environments and habits. To be honest, I’ve started implementing these routines almost more so for myself.

Nathan and I have never been good at routine, that’s why we never really set one for Torben prior to now. I mean, as mothers we really do want to have family breakfast and dinner sitting at the table, we want to bath our children every single night just before bed, and we want to get these little humans of ours sleeping through, but! It’s easier said than done. Because who has to actually enforce these routines? That’s right, us.

We are only human, sometimes we let that family dinner slide because your little one is out of whack, or your simply too tired to give them a proper bath so the shower it is and if you have had a very long stressful day a wet cloth will do.

We love our children, but we need to learn to love ourselves enough to know and be okay with imperfections. We are raising our children with all the love and positivity we can muster after all!

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Absence makes the heart think about subject matter.

Unfortunately this is a short post! 

Our little fam is on the move and it’s very difficult to juggle writing decent posts between, well, trying to adult right now! My attention for the next week and a bit is going to be on moving and getting us all settled and into some sort of a routine. Not that I can control our wee cubs rourine but, hey. 

On a quick side note, I have made the choice to transition to a vegetarian lifestyle. Basically, I’m constantly finding myself wanting to try to become way more conscious of the state of our planet and how unsustainable our current way of living is and how wasteful we can all be, and I’ve never practised what I preach. Now having a child and really having to care about the state our world is in and it’s future I can’t sit by and just carry on living how I have been. More on that later!

I would like to thank my followers: your likes and comments make this experience so much more enjoyable! I love writing this blog, reading your amazing blogs and meeting new awesome people!

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

The big and the small.

Firstly, I apologize for not posting as much as I usually do. Our little family is currently on the move for the next couple of weeks and when I do have the chance to sit down and update the blog I find myself slowly nodding off and waking to find an entire sentence that makes zero sense.

This is the first year in many where I have made an effort to jot down some short term and long term goals. When I sat down to write this list I didn’t really realize just how many things I would be willing to try to attain. 

Unlike other lists I’ve attempted, this list ranges from: clean the oven, become fit and healthy to find a tangible home income. I have the big, the small, the short and long-term. It brings me great satisfaction between a sleeping child to conquer the small things and slowly chip away at the larger goals.

This year is the single most hectic year thus far of my life and I honestly couldn’t be more fulfilled at this present time. But having a goal list helps me stay grounded. In this early blur of motherhood, which 99 percent of us ensure, I find myself being very flighty; I’m in a constant state of forgetting the current task I was working on. I’ll start the dishes and halfway through start hanging the washing out then have the need to relieve myself and start cleaning the bathroom. 

The list is an invaluable part of my life now. And how satisfying it is to cross those goals off!

All of the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Gratitude 2 – Companion

I’ve been very fortunate in this life. Whenever  I have been through bad times it’s been a prequel to an opening of joy and positivity. But the one thing I was previously never open to was timing. Timing was always off, at least I made it seem that way within myself. But for the first time, it seemed like the timing was of divinity. The way in which I met the father to my child, my companion, was all thanks to a reunion of a friendship. Ever since that moment, my life has seemed much more rounded, like a complete cycle; i’ve felt whole.

I am constantly living in a moment of gratitude with this amazing human being who, initially proved me to be completely wrong at every turn, and lead me to quickly changing my preconceptions of what I expected from people. At every bump in the road he’s been there to, not pick me up, but to make me realize that I have the capability to pick myself up, and words simply can’t describe how grateful I am for that.

img_20170129_140205_538In living with this incredible human, I have seen on a daily basis how selflessly he gives himself, not just to me but everyone around him. He endeavours to support me, but offers honesty for all choices I make. He is my safe place, my home.  I am constantly shown how it is to just love someone, and be loved in return. I am baffled by his pure kindness, his state of serenity, intelligence, and capability to be open to all things.
Not only are these things between us now, but shared with a beautiful little human being we both helped into this world. He is a natural father, a nurturing father, an inspiring father and he physically, mentally and financially supports our son and I. There is no fear of bringing up a human in this world full of the inept when I have such a true man by my side.

Fleetwood Mac Funny Nathan And LexI am in constant wonder at how harmonious we are and the complete lack of judgement in this pure simplicity which is, us. I am thankful for all that we have in common, and all that we don’t, for all of those deep talks, and the individuality. He is my best friend.

Words just don’t cut how vivaciously my gratitude grows every day for this amazing companion of mine. How fortunate I am in this life.

How bittersweet this contrast.

The day my son was placed upon my chest and into my arms, I felt LIFE. The newest and most pure essence of our life force. So young, so quintessentially innocent, yet resonating with radiant energy.

We all, as parents go through this in our own way. We see this from different points, at different times, depending on how receptive we are.

I’m twenty four years old. The energy of youth still abundant in my being and renewed by my gratification of bringing a life into this world. I feel such revelry to walk our mother earth each day and with each breath I am open to more.

When Torben met his great grandparents on my mother’s side, we entered the energy of a thousand life forces slowly being reverted to their place of origin, but oh! What a life lived. The presence of such a burgeoning energy was enough to change the entire atmosphere, even for a fleeting second.

We come forth into this world, overflowing with such beautiful naivety on a planet that has so much information to offer. How lucky to be offered self awareness we are!

Once our lessons have been learned, our wisdom has been passed and we have drawn all of our being from melioration, we return, one way or another; our essence released to whence it came.    

Undoubtedly circling, constant yet certain is the human race as we initiate into this world, only to biologically decay even when our minds stay behind.

How bittersweet this contrast.