Our own person.

Its so easy to get caught up in our current lives, to forget who we are outside of the realms of motherhood and parenthood. Those few nights spent separated from our wee ones helps define who we are away from it all. But lets be honest, its not likely that, the one night we do get once in a blue moon will be spent meditaing or bettering ourselves per say.. But what about a quiet night alone?

I find myself alone quite often, and as introverted as I am right now, the thought of spending just an entire day ON MY OWN without my child scares the shit out of me. I’m not exactly sure why I’m like this now, but the thought of well, being left to my own thoughts scares me. Not in a self-deprecating kind of way, but in the way that, as mothers we don’t get a moment alone, or so it feels, so when it does happen, i feel like I wouldn’t actually know what to do with myself. Whether you work or you don’t, I imagine we all feel this way to a degree. Point being, it’s scary, because like you, I can’t really remember life prior to this beautiful boy of ours.

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I feel like those moments between naps are enough most days, but some, I wish I could run away from it all, then I remember that I’m a mother now and I beat myself up internally a bit. But lets not bull shit here, it is hard, we lose the essence of us a little bit some days, we get angry at ourselves for having ‘bad’ thoughts about motherhood, parenting and we beat ourselves up for needing, craving space. I don’t believe there is any shame in needing that space. Its healthy, not only for us but for our children. I’m not one of those parents who want to constantly pawn my child off to grandparents or friends, but, I am learning to allow myself and my partner time to cool off, or ‘reset’.

I was a super weird kid, i hated being away from home. On occasion I would have panic attacks when staying at a friends house thinking aliens would kidnap me and I would get my mum to come and get me (don’t ask XD). I can tell you now, I really, REALLY, don’t want my son to be afraid like i was. I want to teach him to be self-assured and confident. Not afraid to be out of his comfort zone, be allowing him to be away from us instills that he is his own safety. At 5 months old he’ll sleep pretty much anywhere, he’s pretty down to earth and I’m confident that my partner and I are doing a good job.

Remind yourself that you need space, your child needs space and you deserve time to ‘reset’. Keep up the incredible work Mama’s and Papas ❤

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Fueling the fire.

If there is something we all learn eventually, its that we need to keep our own fires burning. I dont mean that in a negative connotation, but something positive. Even though it takes years of practise to realize, we are infact capable of keeping them raging. 

Whats the fire actually stand for you ask? Your happiness, your passion, your determination. You see, we dont need someone to tell us how wonderful we are, we should just know, but society has and continues to strip us of that power. The point im making from a mothers perspective is, i want my kids to have self-love, self-respect and be highly resilient, but also gentle, be kind and compassionate. Its up to us to ignite their flame and give them the tools to make there own fuel to keep their own fire burning. Teach them that although the world is full of blithering  wankers, that they can still make the world a better place.

We are teaching the next generation,  the generation thats going to have to reverse all the damage done thanks to us, our parents, grandparents and so on. We ignite the flame, and we keep ours burning.

The Three Bears NZ

My moon and my stars.

My own version of golden warmth, times such as this stands still. I realize not that it’s a moment fleeting.

Motherhood = unpredictability

Today my wee baby bear had his first immunizations!

This isn’t going to be an argument about immunizations, if you choose to or not to, it’s your choice and I’m never going to tell you your wrong, because you know best for your child.

Anyway. I have been nervous for a good couple of days now, constantly thinking about how he would react. How hard it would be to watch him and how am I going to deal with a huge routine shift when it finally feels like we are slowly but surely getting more sleep and predictability. We do what we can, at the end of the day we follow him and his needs. 

Needless to say as horrible as it was to see him crying due to a needle enter his wee thighs, it really was not as bad as my mind had manifested. The mind is such a powerful thing when in the head of an overtired mother!

Once we hit the fourth hour after his immunizations BANG he cried for a good hour! He’s never done that before! He ended up crying himself to sleep, which I guess is well needed. Even if it did break my heart!

Thankfully when Papa came home Torben calmed right down, and he’s been a very sleepy wee cub since, and he’s still eating find and all is right with the world. We even managed to watch Inception and eat a whole bowl of plain popcorn! Yay! Now it’s time to fall into the comfortable bed I’ve been thinking of since I left it this morning..

From one tired and relieved Mama bear, good night! Or good day.. All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Lets connect!

To all of you amazing pregnancy, motherhood, parenting and all round blogs! LETS CONNECT! I would love to know more about the amazing blogs on this platform!

img_20170205_135317_989I’ll start! I’m Alexa, 24 years, I am a first time mother to a beautiful little bear cub named Torben! I have a passion for graphic design, photography and drumming! Even though it’s been awhile I’m learning to reconnect with myself! I’m also into alternative health, aromatherapy (I’m learning) and positive thinking!

I started this blog to give an honest view as a first time mother and as an outlet to connect with other individuals of the same state of mind.

I can’t wait to look at your blogs! I would love to get to know you incredible individuals!

 

Leave a comment introducing yourself and your blog! 

All of the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

The Parent Panic.

Being a first time parent is incredible! You couldn’t imagine life being more fulfilling. But you are learning on the job, and there are a few things that you can’t help but freak out about..

This constant stream of news about Trump, ISIS and global climate change has me thinking “What kind of world have we bought our son into?! You constantly wonder what the world will be like in 20 years time for your children, and to tell you the truth, I don’t like what I see.

mother-nature-artistic-wallpaperThere is a barrage of narrow minded pricks constantly asking the wrong questions just to prevent open minded people from creating a beautiful Mother Earth.

What is one mother meant to do? I’ll tell you now, you make the smallest difference, because even the smallest difference counts! Show your child that one human DOES make a difference. Recycle, use all of your left-overs, pick up a piece of rubbish on the side of the road, buy free-range eggs, stop eating meat every night, be kind to your fellow human, learn an alternative health method, ride your bike or walk more, take shorter showers and the list is endless! All you can do is be the best example you can muster!

The future generations need to be taught that this world really does have limited time, especially if we don’t look after our planet earth. The things our children will grow to see will be absolutely breathtaking, but they will also see what generations to pass have done to this beautiful planet.

If I can honestly say in 20 years time that my partner and I raised a kind, generous, open-minded human, I say job well done. Job well done to all of you parents who are currently working towards that or have already gotten to that milestone!

What are your “Parent Panic’s?” Leave your answer in the comments!

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.