Our new life.

Its daunting when the day finally comes! You have the all clear to go home with your beautiful little bundle! Your new life begins!

cofYou are still healing yourself, whether it’s from vaginal birth, surgery or from the various other procedures.. You have had 2 hours sleep in 48 hours and are slightly delusional. You may be extremely volatile in your emotions and you aren’t quite sure the next tantrum or bout of tears will show up and you aren’t confident breastfeeding, (or know if that’s the path you’re even going to go down yet). You and your other half have never been so scared in your life, but you have both never been so elated.

There is so much you aren’t told about having a newborn! Like my amazing midwife says, “they don’t come with a manual!”. If only they did! Some days they cry all day. You’ve fed them, cleaned them, changed them, cuddled them and still, to no avail, you sit in defeat in an almost ‘meditative’ state that occurs before you scream into the closest cushion like object.

Sometimes newborns are mysterious and hard to figure out. It just takes time! Before you know if you will understand every sound he or she makes! Almost anyway!

What I have learned up until now is far from what I thought I would of by now! Here’s a few things I can offer you:

  • They are able to communicate their needs to a degree. Hungry? There’s a cry for that. Pooping? There’s a cry for that. Hot? Cold? There’s a … you get the point.
  • You CAN take them out into the wide world pretty quickly! As long as you are ready! If you are anything like me, you get cabin fever pretty quickly and need to get out of the house regularly.
  • Be prepared for judgement and opinions ALL OF THE TIME. God forbid your child makes so much as a small whimper in front of the old woman walking past! Just remember, you know best! This is your child after all and people can talk until they are blue in the face! You take what you you find useful, and, well.. Fuck the rest!
  • The second the nappy is off, they shit, or urinate, ALL OVER YOU. If you are like me, and have a boy then you know just how far there peep can go!
  • They fart like adults! (I wish I knew that because the first time Torben let one rip I was definitely startled).
  • I can’t stress this one enough.. DON’T EXPECT ROUTINE STRAIGHT AWAY! They are so little and it takes them a while to get used to this world outside of your uterus! And don’t beat yourself up! All you can really do is give them what they need, when they need it.

The list could go on forever! Newborns are gorgeous little beings that require a lot of our time and energy, but don’t panic! You got this Mama! Just remember, you are all the Mama your baby needs and you aren’t alone! Don’t be afraid to reach out to people if you have to! You matter just as much as your child!

There are so many things I am constantly learning everyday, and as tired as we can be sometimes, I wouldn’t have it any other way!

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ

Where my journey through motherhood began.

My journey begins when I found out I was pregnant just before my 24th birthday in may last year, and I’ll never forget it.img_20170121_194416_162

My partner Nathan and I had been together for over a year and had started planning our move overseas. We had just booked and paid for our tickets to Melbourne Australia; we were looking forward to starting our O.E!

My period was one day late, and I just knew then, that I was pregnant. Although I hadn’t taken any tests, my body just felt so different. I went to the local supermarket whilst my partner was at work and grabbed a variety of tests, not trusting one to be enough. The moment I got home I ran upstairs, straight to the toilet and ripped the box to one of the pregnancy tests apart and began the longest piss of my life. As much as I “just knew” I was pregnant in the back of my mind, I still wasn’t mentally prepared for the blue line to appear on that stick.

The only thing my mind or my mouth could physically muster to say was “Fuck”, over and over and over again. I even dramatically slid down the wall of the bathroom to end on the floor and have my head cupped in my hands, still saying “fuck”.

I was in a loving totally functional adult relationship; we were financially pretty decent, my partner was/is an incredibly hard, loyal worker and partner. He is the perfect candidate for a father. We had a home, although somewhat small and only set up for the two of us, we could definitely make it work. But it wasn’t part of our “plan” and that’s what freaked me out so much. Plain and simple, I was freaked out.

I still wish I hadn’t told Nathan in this way but, in my panic attack I TEXTED the poor man whilst he was at work. Don’t ask me what I was thinking, because I don’t think I had the capacity to do so at that point in time!

Once he got home he seemed fine! As if I hadn’t told him one of the potentially most life altering things any human being can go through. He asked me what I wanted to do, totally respectfully this man of mine is. I honestly didn’t know at that point in time. We agreed to let me ponder on this for a couple of days (or weeks) to figure it all out. Nathan said it was completely up to me and that he would support any choice I decided on, how lucky am I?

Naturally, after having a miscarriage early on in our relationship and feeling the pain of losing a child, (that’s an entire blog post in itself) even though we had planned to terminate, I decided to keep this wee peanut growing inside of me.

After feeling absolutely freaked out, I felt the polar opposite; complete.

Almost 11 months after finding out about our little bear cub, I have learned so much in such a short amount of time and feel like I have a lot of loving, true and raw advice to offer mothers or mothers to be. This is and will be my documented and honest journey through motherhood.

All the love and support in the world to all of you incredible woman,

The Three bears.