We plant the seed.

It’s a massive responsibility, realizing just how much influence you have over this little human you created. Constantly watching yourself and trying to enforce positive routines, positive environments and habits. To be honest, I’ve started implementing these routines almost more so for myself.

Nathan and I have never been good at routine, that’s why we never really set one for Torben prior to now. I mean, as mothers we really do want to have family breakfast and dinner sitting at the table, we want to bath our children every single night just before bed, and we want to get these little humans of ours sleeping through, but! It’s easier said than done. Because who has to actually enforce these routines? That’s right, us.

We are only human, sometimes we let that family dinner slide because your little one is out of whack, or your simply too tired to give them a proper bath so the shower it is and if you have had a very long stressful day a wet cloth will do.

We love our children, but we need to learn to love ourselves enough to know and be okay with imperfections. We are raising our children with all the love and positivity we can muster after all!

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

The big and the small.

Firstly, I apologize for not posting as much as I usually do. Our little family is currently on the move for the next couple of weeks and when I do have the chance to sit down and update the blog I find myself slowly nodding off and waking to find an entire sentence that makes zero sense.

This is the first year in many where I have made an effort to jot down some short term and long term goals. When I sat down to write this list I didn’t really realize just how many things I would be willing to try to attain. 

Unlike other lists I’ve attempted, this list ranges from: clean the oven, become fit and healthy to find a tangible home income. I have the big, the small, the short and long-term. It brings me great satisfaction between a sleeping child to conquer the small things and slowly chip away at the larger goals.

This year is the single most hectic year thus far of my life and I honestly couldn’t be more fulfilled at this present time. But having a goal list helps me stay grounded. In this early blur of motherhood, which 99 percent of us ensure, I find myself being very flighty; I’m in a constant state of forgetting the current task I was working on. I’ll start the dishes and halfway through start hanging the washing out then have the need to relieve myself and start cleaning the bathroom. 

The list is an invaluable part of my life now. And how satisfying it is to cross those goals off!

All of the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Stigmas of a Mother

As we grow our children and into our role as mothers, both physically and spiritually, we are constantly bombarded with advice and judgements.

If a mother chooses to breastfeed her child in public she’s bombarded with criticism, when a mother chooses to formula feed her child she’s also bombarded with criticism. The single most unfortunate thing about these stigmas, it seems to  be other woman; Mothers, bestowing their ‘god like’ judgement upon their fellow woman.

After having problems producing enough milk for my hungry wee cub, I decided for my sanity and my poor cubs little tummy, to switch to formula. It’s only been a couple of weeks, yet people haven’t hesitated to show their distaste. No wonder when I go to the doctors, nurses or I have to feed our child in public I feel ashamed to declare this fact. How unfair it is, that I we as mothers are made to feel that way! Breast is best?! More like shut your mouth Barabara you haven’t had a child under 43 for 100 years!

I’m currently in a state of mind in which I have to constantly remind myself that the choices I make are in the best interest of my child, because they are. A mother who has looked after her needs is a good mother, no, a great mother.

If a mother chooses to do her makeup, straighten her hair, go to the hair salon, take a 10 minute time-out, breastfeed, formula feed, let her child play computer games, enforce her child to play outside, co-sleep, promote self-settling, let her child cry, hold her child close that is her choice as a mother.

It is our duty as woman, to withhold our judgement, to apply self-awareness to the judgements that do pop up in our head and alter those thoughts into empathetic, supportive and understanding wavelengths.

I’m sick of people in general constantly feeling the need to spread their ‘anticipated’ advice. Did I ask for it? NO! Some of the information is useful, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying. Just remember the next time you open your fat gob to some poor heavily pregnant woman who’s been told “Enjoy the peace and quiet whilst it last’s honey!” a dozen times in that week alone or that poor mother who hasn’t had a full night’s sleep in, well, she can’t remember.. They don’t want to hear it. Every child is completely different and we will or are learning our child. Specially if you haven’t got your own children!

My greatest piece of advice I can offer: instead of passing judgment or pointless advice, tell her how awesome she rocks that baby belly or how amazing that mother at the checkout with a child having a full blown tantrum is doing! Or, if you have friends that are pregnant or having a young child, offer your help, bring them food, coffee, compliments and support.

The Three Bears NZ.

 

Gratitude 1 – Introduction

gratitudechallengex.jpgI’ve decided to give the 52 week gratitude challenge a start as of today. I would love to teach myself to see more beauty and have more appreciation for the little things. We need more positivity and open mindedness in our world; now that I have a gorgeous baby boy, I need to be the absolute best I can be. I need him to see how being open to all of the good in life can bring more and more good into ones life! Love is more powerful than hate!

Please feel free to join in! I would love to read your own version of gratitude

Feeling very thankful today!

Alexa.

Motherhood = unpredictability

Today my wee baby bear had his first immunizations!

This isn’t going to be an argument about immunizations, if you choose to or not to, it’s your choice and I’m never going to tell you your wrong, because you know best for your child.

Anyway. I have been nervous for a good couple of days now, constantly thinking about how he would react. How hard it would be to watch him and how am I going to deal with a huge routine shift when it finally feels like we are slowly but surely getting more sleep and predictability. We do what we can, at the end of the day we follow him and his needs. 

Needless to say as horrible as it was to see him crying due to a needle enter his wee thighs, it really was not as bad as my mind had manifested. The mind is such a powerful thing when in the head of an overtired mother!

Once we hit the fourth hour after his immunizations BANG he cried for a good hour! He’s never done that before! He ended up crying himself to sleep, which I guess is well needed. Even if it did break my heart!

Thankfully when Papa came home Torben calmed right down, and he’s been a very sleepy wee cub since, and he’s still eating find and all is right with the world. We even managed to watch Inception and eat a whole bowl of plain popcorn! Yay! Now it’s time to fall into the comfortable bed I’ve been thinking of since I left it this morning..

From one tired and relieved Mama bear, good night! Or good day.. All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Precious Moments.

Being a family has bought so much warmth and love into my heart and soul; I realize just how lucky I am every single day.

I love it when I catch myself lovingly gazing at my two boys having morning cuddles, when both Nathan and I are both bent over cooing at our beautiful cubs smiling face. It feels like the earth itself stops rotating for that brief moment in time.

It’s hard to define love before having a child. We always loved our partners, but our love grows exponentially once our children enter this world. I’ve found it’s not just within my family but to all the people around me that I am now capable of loving more.

I have a greater sense of gratitude to seek out the beauty around me, and I find myself becoming a fuller, happier human being every day.

I love having the opportunity to capture these hovering moments in time; a candid photo of my child’s smile will bring so many people in his life a small gleam of his being. That brings me great joy.

These are precious moments in time, and we must try to be grateful in these moments and let them procreate into a magical montage of greatness.

The Three Bears NZ.