The day’s of ‘hard’.

Teething bubba’s, working, studying and just general adulting can be really hard when you’re a parent.

My need for social encounters has more than halved, now that an outting now requires me to take pretty much half the house I catch myself finding quite a few excuses to stay home as often as I can.

Sometimes I can’t be bothered having a shower or changing our boys clothes at night before bed, sometimes, even though I’m trying to change my lifestyle for the better, body mind and soul, I catch myself with barely enough energy to get me through the day.

Sometimes I find myself thinking “who the F#+@ is meant to look after me?” Who’s going to do my washing, my dishes, let me sleep in, cook my dinner, fold my washing,  put my washing away and the list goes on. But I know I sound so ungrateful, I’m not I assure you. Mostly I count my fortunes, after all, I’m a stay at home mum who has an incredible partner who works for his son and I so I can stay at home and raise our boy and follow my dreams of studying and starting a small business.

But holy moly, mama, your amazing. And it’s okay to let it overwhelm you, just for a short while.

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

We plant the seed.

It’s a massive responsibility, realizing just how much influence you have over this little human you created. Constantly watching yourself and trying to enforce positive routines, positive environments and habits. To be honest, I’ve started implementing these routines almost more so for myself.

Nathan and I have never been good at routine, that’s why we never really set one for Torben prior to now. I mean, as mothers we really do want to have family breakfast and dinner sitting at the table, we want to bath our children every single night just before bed, and we want to get these little humans of ours sleeping through, but! It’s easier said than done. Because who has to actually enforce these routines? That’s right, us.

We are only human, sometimes we let that family dinner slide because your little one is out of whack, or your simply too tired to give them a proper bath so the shower it is and if you have had a very long stressful day a wet cloth will do.

We love our children, but we need to learn to love ourselves enough to know and be okay with imperfections. We are raising our children with all the love and positivity we can muster after all!

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Emotional update.

My emotional stability has been, absent lately. I feel like, I’m unhinged. My temper is short, I’m constantly fighting myself to not be constantly sucking energy from my environment just to get through the day, yet, I still find this cloud lingers.

The hardest thing about being a mother right now is, who is meant to look after us? Once we become mothers, we forget to look after ourselves, and people forget we need looking after sometimes.

Although I’m going through a bit of emotional turmoil, I find my spirituality growing. Perhaps I’m reaching for means to help me feel complete. To give myself the tools to be able to build the ladder out of this emotional pit. I am very interested in forms of paganism. Might be I’ll find my spiritual path by venturing down these paths and researching.

I’ve had to step back from “adulting” in the last couple of weeks, for what? Apart from my emotional state I’m not sure, but I know I’d like to give my self the chance to recover before this snow balls.

We work so hard as mothers to keep everyone else happy, and as cliche as it sounds, we forget ourselves. This is a lesson I am learning early and hard. Time to give ourselves some slack.

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Blur.

Does anyone else struggle with a messy mind? I find myself in a constant state of seeing things that need to be done, but leaving my current task undone! And, I don’t know what you’ve been told but, baby brain lasts a very long time. I had it bad during pregnancy, and, I still have it, in some cases I would say it’s worse since having our cub.

Between insomnia, our child waking up during the night for feeds and just generally not getting into bed early enough, my baby brain is shocking. My midnight bedtime is a little too late, but if you are anything like me, you’re not an early night or an early morning person. Besides, when else am I meant to get shit done?!IMG_20170304_163914.jpg

This week, I’ve just taken a step back to chill out a bit more, and it feels good. It feels really good to just not adult for a few days. Infact I might just conclude this week as a write-off, and squish all of my adulting into one whole day.

My whole life feels like a bit of a write-off at the moment. Between trying to learn this little being I grew for 9 – 10 months, which, is already a write-off automatically because, let’s be honest we don’t remember much of our pregnancies except the morning sickness, what we craved pork rinds, chocolate sundays and that we didn’t like labour. My early days and weeks of motherhood ( I know i’m still in early motherhood but, those super early days) were a combination of pizza and thai takeaways, muesli bars, bags of chips, chocolate and lots of netflix. They were, and still are on occasion lovely and heartwarming but sometimes, tedious, stressful and forced.

My point is, my weeks are a blur, OUR weeks are a blur. When i’m telling someone about something that happened weeks ago it turned out it was only days ago, I can’t concentrate because my time and days are in small increments between my child’s wake and sleep periods, so my days feel stupidly short but longer than ever, and often I feel like I barely get anything done and if I don’t write it down it doesn’t happen.

We are all only just getting into a routine for the first time in… what was I talking about? Kidding. The first time in what feels like a very long time. It feels good, to know what to expect, kind of. But that changes ALL THE TIME when you have a wee cub, and as much as I like to say I embrace it, it’s havoc at times and i’m just waiting for the next short routine to appear. Between being a mama and trying to start some sort of business I’m finding it highly challenging at the moment..

Do you other mothers struggle with juggling tasks and routines? I’d love to hear what other mama’s do!

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Mother mother.

Such an indescribable experience, watching, listening, learning and growing along side this little human that multiplied inside of us. How does one find the words to describe such a thing? Love, such a fickle thing in the eyes of motherhood. Unconditional, striving to learn to love more than love itself. There are no words, only actions, only proof. 

The lights of my life that shine brighter than any Sun.

Home sweetest home

Well, we made it. Somehow! We managed to cart our insane amount of unnecessary belongings from a to b thanks to a lot of coffee, fart arsing around and incredible friends. And boy am I so glad to be away from the hubbub! I still have a lot of organizing to do but there’s not a whole lot left now which makes me feel very relieved.

What a stark contrast it is though! There’s room to swing many cats around! It just feels incredible to have access to a huge array of home grown fruit, vegetables and beautiful fauna. This is heavenly, how I thought I could stick to only city life is far beyond me now. That said, the day your child enters this world they are the center of everything therefore your priorities just have to change entirely. Family comes first.

We are still currently waiting for our internet to be connected so this is just a brief update to let you know that more for filling content will be uploaded soon once I am able to use the computer.

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Hectic is normality.

As you may know, our little fam is on the move! I’ve been struggling to make time for most things but honestly, in the last couple of days, I have been struggling to find any motivation to finish packing! I’ve hit a brick wall bigger than the wall Trump plans on building.

Our house is in absolutely chaos! It’s hard to move around and I just can’t function in this kind of environment. I understand that come sunday evening it’s all going to be basically finished and I can’t wait! Living in an urban area has been normality for so long, but knowing we are going to be living rurally so soon has me listening to the constant barrage of sounds.

If it’s not boy racers its parties, if its not parties is the neighbor’s cats landing on the shed roof, if it’s not that there is the constant hum of the port. Don’t get me wrong, i have definitely enjoyed my time here! This is where Nathan and I started, where we began and a part of this small, cramped 1970’s flat will have a place in my heart. Our times walking into the local pubs and aimlessly floundering home are over now and we have no need to be so close to the center of everything. But I am grateful.

Moving with even a 2 month old is presenting me with a whole new world of responsibility! Learning to juggle packing, cooking, feeding and even getting a shower in is proving challenging at best!

Not only that, I am in the process of starting a small business  from home creating health, beauty and wellness products for you beautiful mama’s and your littlies! I am so excited to get this journey underway and sharing it with you incredible followers of mine!

WATCH THIS SPACE! 😀 Thank you so much for still supporting me through my absence!

All of the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.