Our own person.

Its so easy to get caught up in our current lives, to forget who we are outside of the realms of motherhood and parenthood. Those few nights spent separated from our wee ones helps define who we are away from it all. But lets be honest, its not likely that, the one night we do get once in a blue moon will be spent meditaing or bettering ourselves per say.. But what about a quiet night alone?

I find myself alone quite often, and as introverted as I am right now, the thought of spending just an entire day ON MY OWN without my child scares the shit out of me. I’m not exactly sure why I’m like this now, but the thought of well, being left to my own thoughts scares me. Not in a self-deprecating kind of way, but in the way that, as mothers we don’t get a moment alone, or so it feels, so when it does happen, i feel like I wouldn’t actually know what to do with myself. Whether you work or you don’t, I imagine we all feel this way to a degree. Point being, it’s scary, because like you, I can’t really remember life prior to this beautiful boy of ours.

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I feel like those moments between naps are enough most days, but some, I wish I could run away from it all, then I remember that I’m a mother now and I beat myself up internally a bit. But lets not bull shit here, it is hard, we lose the essence of us a little bit some days, we get angry at ourselves for having ‘bad’ thoughts about motherhood, parenting and we beat ourselves up for needing, craving space. I don’t believe there is any shame in needing that space. Its healthy, not only for us but for our children. I’m not one of those parents who want to constantly pawn my child off to grandparents or friends, but, I am learning to allow myself and my partner time to cool off, or ‘reset’.

I was a super weird kid, i hated being away from home. On occasion I would have panic attacks when staying at a friends house thinking aliens would kidnap me and I would get my mum to come and get me (don’t ask XD). I can tell you now, I really, REALLY, don’t want my son to be afraid like i was. I want to teach him to be self-assured and confident. Not afraid to be out of his comfort zone, be allowing him to be away from us instills that he is his own safety. At 5 months old he’ll sleep pretty much anywhere, he’s pretty down to earth and I’m confident that my partner and I are doing a good job.

Remind yourself that you need space, your child needs space and you deserve time to ‘reset’. Keep up the incredible work Mama’s and Papas ❀

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

The day’s of ‘hard’.

Teething bubba’s, working, studying and just general adulting can be really hard when you’re a parent.

My need for social encounters has more than halved, now that an outting now requires me to take pretty much half the house I catch myself finding quite a few excuses to stay home as often as I can.

Sometimes I can’t be bothered having a shower or changing our boys clothes at night before bed, sometimes, even though I’m trying to change my lifestyle for the better, body mind and soul, I catch myself with barely enough energy to get me through the day.

Sometimes I find myself thinking “who the F#+@ is meant to look after me?” Who’s going to do my washing, my dishes, let me sleep in, cook my dinner, fold my washing, Β put my washing away and the list goes on. But I know I sound so ungrateful, I’m not I assure you. Mostly I count my fortunes, after all, I’m a stay at home mum who has an incredible partner who works for his son and I so I can stay at home and raise our boy and follow my dreams of studying and starting a small business.

But holy moly, mama, your amazing. And it’s okay to let it overwhelm you, just for a short while.

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Sleepless nights.

The one thing that truly gets to me. I love my boy with all I have to give and more, but bite into my sleep and I begin to lose my sanity!

The sleepless nights has by far been the hardest thing about becoming a new mother, and I know it’s not just me! When mothers of babies that take a long time to sleep through here about your child who slept through from week 2 we can’t help but be a little envious! Tell me your secret!

No but seriously, it’s hard. You learn to function off small increments of sleep, and on those occasions you do get lucky enough to have over 5 hours you wake up wondering if your child is still breathing!

I’m still adjusting to my new found motherhood, 4 months later, and learning to enjoy the nights I can sleep through!

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.