Our three days off.

We are just at the very end of 3 whole nights without our wee cub, and, we don’t have a whole lot to show for it, other than feeling a whole lot more human!

All that study I said I would do? Ended up being swapped for playing Xbox games with my partner. Catching up on the house work turned into making more of a mess haha, and going out for multiple walks turned into “babe, can you make more popcorn?”

We are currently on the way to getting our wee cub and I can’t wait to see his beautiful smiley face ❀ even if my health has ever so slightly diminished…ha.

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Our own person.

Its so easy to get caught up in our current lives, to forget who we are outside of the realms of motherhood and parenthood. Those few nights spent separated from our wee ones helps define who we are away from it all. But lets be honest, its not likely that, the one night we do get once in a blue moon will be spent meditaing or bettering ourselves per say.. But what about a quiet night alone?

I find myself alone quite often, and as introverted as I am right now, the thought of spending just an entire day ON MY OWN without my child scares the shit out of me. I’m not exactly sure why I’m like this now, but the thought of well, being left to my own thoughts scares me. Not in a self-deprecating kind of way, but in the way that, as mothers we don’t get a moment alone, or so it feels, so when it does happen, i feel like I wouldn’t actually know what to do with myself. Whether you work or you don’t, I imagine we all feel this way to a degree. Point being, it’s scary, because like you, I can’t really remember life prior to this beautiful boy of ours.

images

I feel like those moments between naps are enough most days, but some, I wish I could run away from it all, then I remember that I’m a mother now and I beat myself up internally a bit. But lets not bull shit here, it is hard, we lose the essence of us a little bit some days, we get angry at ourselves for having ‘bad’ thoughts about motherhood, parenting and we beat ourselves up for needing, craving space. I don’t believe there is any shame in needing that space. Its healthy, not only for us but for our children. I’m not one of those parents who want to constantly pawn my child off to grandparents or friends, but, I am learning to allow myself and my partner time to cool off, or ‘reset’.

I was a super weird kid, i hated being away from home. On occasion I would have panic attacks when staying at a friends house thinking aliens would kidnap me and I would get my mum to come and get me (don’t ask XD). I can tell you now, I really, REALLY, don’t want my son to be afraid like i was. I want to teach him to be self-assured and confident. Not afraid to be out of his comfort zone, be allowing him to be away from us instills that he is his own safety. At 5 months old he’ll sleep pretty much anywhere, he’s pretty down to earth and I’m confident that my partner and I are doing a good job.

Remind yourself that you need space, your child needs space and you deserve time to ‘reset’. Keep up the incredible work Mama’s and Papas ❀

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Emotional update.

My emotional stability has been, absent lately. I feel like, I’m unhinged. My temper is short, I’m constantly fighting myself to not be constantly sucking energy from my environment just to get through the day, yet, I still find this cloud lingers.

The hardest thing about being a mother right now is, who is meant to look after us? Once we become mothers, we forget to look after ourselves, and people forget we need looking after sometimes.

Although I’m going through a bit of emotional turmoil, I find my spirituality growing. Perhaps I’m reaching for means to help me feel complete. To give myself the tools to be able to build the ladder out of this emotional pit. I am very interested in forms of paganism. Might be I’ll find my spiritual path by venturing down these paths and researching.

I’ve had to step back from “adulting” in the last couple of weeks, for what? Apart from my emotional state I’m not sure, but I know I’d like to give my self the chance to recover before this snow balls.

We work so hard as mothers to keep everyone else happy, and as cliche as it sounds, we forget ourselves. This is a lesson I am learning early and hard. Time to give ourselves some slack.

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

Life gets in the way.

I apologize for being so slack with the blog! As you know I’ve been prioritizing securing some sort of income as a sahm!

I’ve been so busy and my mind has been so full of nothing but being a mother to our child and starting up a business that I’ve really forgotten to maintain myself and my own well being. Being a mother is a huge balancing act, and I love it, I honestly do but I need to ensure I’m spending some time on myself. Even something as simple as shaving my legs, washing my hair, using my lovely face cleanser and putting time aside to look after my mental health. Because I’ll be honest, I haven’t been feeling myself, physically or mentally. This is my first child so I don’t know what recovery should bebe, and although I understand that every woman heals and different rates I still feel like I should be feeling better now.. did anyone experience an emergency c-section? And what was your recovery like? I’m at 12 weeks post partum tomorrow and it still looks like I’m 18 – 22 weeks pregnant! 


I’m trying to divert my mind away from the self depreciation but I find my mind slipping more and more. I know that I’ll get over it soon and I know I can over come this and get back to my old self, it’s just the in between.

Other than that, our new home is lovely, as stressful as the move was I could never find it inside of me to regret that decision. Our little cub is doing very well, he’s 12 weeks tomorrow and 3 months on the 19th! It honestly feels like an entire lifetime that he’s been in our lives but time is almost non existent at this point! I never know what day if the week it is let alone what time! 

Today is the first day my partner and I have been away from our cub as well! I’ll say more about that in my following post.

All of the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.

 

Home sweetest home

Well, we made it. Somehow! We managed to cart our insane amount of unnecessary belongings from a to b thanks to a lot of coffee, fart arsing around and incredible friends. And boy am I so glad to be away from the hubbub! I still have a lot of organizing to do but there’s not a whole lot left now which makes me feel very relieved.

What a stark contrast it is though! There’s room to swing many cats around! It just feels incredible to have access to a huge array of home grown fruit, vegetables and beautiful fauna. This is heavenly, how I thought I could stick to only city life is far beyond me now. That said, the day your child enters this world they are the center of everything therefore your priorities just have to change entirely. Family comes first.

We are still currently waiting for our internet to be connected so this is just a brief update to let you know that more for filling content will be uploaded soon once I am able to use the computer.

All the love and support,

The Three Bears NZ.